Please.

Misery drives a person to make the dumbest choices... some seemingly menial, while others completely life-altering.

I've just made an entire lot of really bad choices... all because of my inability to rise and pick myself up from and out of the funk I single-handedly brought myself.

"I never should have done that..." The phrase now constantly plagues me and my thoughts. And though my feeble faith believes that I'll come out of this practically unscathed, the more logical side of my ego has begun to play devil's advocate again. "What if this, what if that..." My guilt and paranoia eat me alive every single day... even more so now than it did before. How the hell could this happen... again? I got to the top and managed to become a better me... only to have it make a turn for the worse.

Whoever said history repeats itself had it spot on. I'm riding a cycle of repetitive sins all because of my own inability to keep myself in check. Yes, yes, I'm stupid as hell. Thought acknowledged.

God, I put my faith in You. I know You wouldn't ignore my cries. Yes, I know I've made so many bargains and promises I have not been able to keep, and I probably will be bound to screw this one up in a few months or years from now. But I swear, just let me come out clean from this mess and I will not compromise myself anymore than I already have. Enfold me in your protection and deliver me from the sins and temptations brought to me... and save me from this fear that chokes me. Please. Have mercy on me. I know and I claim my deliverance and salvation in your name.

I know I've asked you to save me from myself too many times to count, but please. Just this once more.

Amen.

Tit for Thought

The ten types of relationship that won't work:
1. You care about your partner more than he does about you.
2. Your partner cares more about you than you do about him.
3. You are in love with your partner's potential.
4. You are on a rescue mission.
5. You look up to your partner as a role model.
6. You are infatuated with your partner for external reasons.
7. You have partial compatibility.
8. You choose a partner in order to be rebellious.
9. You choose a partner as a reaction to your previous partner.
10. Your partner is unavailable.

The six biggest mistakes we make in the beginning of a relationship:
1. We don't ask enough questions.
2. We ignore warning signs of potential problems.
3. We make premature compromises.
4. We give in to Lust Blindness.
5. We give in to material seduction.
6. We put Commitment Before Compatibility.

Seven Wrong Reasons to be in a Relationship:
1. Pressure (age, family, friends, etc.)
2. Loneliness and desperation
3. Sexual hunger
4. Distraction from your own life
5. To avoid growing up
6. Guilt
7. To fill up your emotional or spiritual emptiness

The Lust into Love Formula:
1. First, you feel powerful sexual chemistry with someone or, in raw terms, lust.
2. Next, you act on those urges and have sex with that person.
3. Then you experience some guilt or discomfort having been so sexually intimate with someone you aren't that emotionally connected with.
4. Finally you create a relationship with that person to legitimize your lust.

Five Realities about Love:
1. Love is not enough to make a relationship work - it needs compatibility and it needs commitment. (most importantly is commitment)
2. It just takes a moment to experience infatuation, but true love takes time.
3. It is possible to experience true love with more than one person - there are many potential partners you could be happy with.
4. The right partner will fulfill many of your needs, but not all of them.
5. Good sex has nothing to do with true love, but making love does.

Five Deadly Myths about Love:
1. True love conquers all.
2. When it's really true love, you will know it the moment you meet the other person.
3. There is only one true love in the world who is right for you.
4. The perfect partner will fulfill you completely in every way.
5. When you experience powerful sexual chemistry with someone, it must be love.

Fatal flaws to watch out for in a partner:
1. Addictions. (Uhm. Check.)
2. Anger.
3. Victim consciousness.
4. Control freak.
5. Sexual dysfunction.
6. Hasn't grown up.
7. Emotionally unavailable.
8. Hasn't recovered from past relationships. (Check again. Kailangan lang ng bago eh!)
9. Emotional damage from childhood.

Here are seven compatibility time bombs that can destroy a relationship:
1. Significant age difference.
2. Different religious background.
3. Different social, ethnic, or educational background.
4. Toxic in-laws.
5. Toxic ex-spouse.
6. Toxic Stepchildren.
7. Long-distance relationships.

Six qualities to look for in a mate:
1. Commitment to personal growth
2. Emotional openness
3. Integrity
4. Maturity and responsibility
5. High self-esteem (Need to work on this more nalang. Haha.)
6. Positive Attitude towards life

Blank space

You know it's bad when, for the last 3 or so hours, you wanna write but the only thing you can come up with is this:



Argh.

My mind eludes me.

And that sucks major sweaty monkey balls.

your name

Your name unceasingly continues to haunt me. I hear it everywhere... especially now. That being said, it's pretty much clear that thoughts of you rampage my mind as well.

People say it in front of me, and though I know they don't reference you directly, that name still makes my heart clench a little and skip one and a half beat.

It's true.

The more I try to let go of you... the more you haunt me.

isly

And again, another one of those

This has been a whirlwind 2 weeks.

Accidents happened.
and Nothingness happened.

You've been cold.
And now you said you wanted to cry.

I know you don't see it.
But I hurt when you hurt.

I just don't let it show.

Your pain travels to me.
And I wish I could take it away.

So I pray.
I ask Him to take care of you.

I plead for Him to take you in His arms.
I beg for Him to relieve you of your pain.

Because I'm all the way here,
and I can't get to you.

Come to think of it, even if I were there
I wouldn't be able to get to you too.

Your walls get higher and your moat gets wider
Each time I try to break through.

Your hands automatically push me away.
Your demeanor automatically keeps me at bay.

All I want is to walk in to your life
especially when everyone else walks out of it.

You won't let me, though.

But it's okay.
I get it.

I know how it's like to be frightened to let people in.
I do that too... a lot of the time.

Sometimes, I used to do that to you.
But not anymore.

Because you were the one who taught me not to.
You said it was okay to let people in.

So I let you.
and even if you don't know it now, you still have me.

That's why it hurts when you're hurting.

I have no choice though.
So I just pray to Him.

Ask Him to take care of you.
Ask Him to watch over you.

Ask Him to protect you.
Ask Him to make you feel that He loves you.

Because I love you.
even if you won't let me in.