here's the message

Right. So I was told you were pissed at me again for some reasons. But anyway, I apologize if I gave the implication that you were gone for a really long time. I am however, not apologizing for staying even if you thought I wanted to go for PJ because if I had really wanted to go I would’ve already gone with you. I guess I thought you knew me like that but apparently I thought wrong. That being said, the text message may have been harsh to the three of you, but I hope you know it was stemmed out of concern and nothing else. Accidents come in whatever forms, no matter how good or how careful you are. If that offends you then I’m sorry for that too. And yet again, since it seems that I always manage to hit your sensitive spots, I hope you know that all of what’s being said that comes from me are words that originate from a significant amount of care that’s been enriched by a friendship that I cherish. If it hits a nerve each time say something, I guess I should apologize for that too.

So anyway, it’ll be a while until you see me. I think we need the space because we’re hitting on each other’s spots too much, and it’s not nice ‘coz people who aren’t involved get into the middle of the mess too. So let me give way and back down, from here on out, there will only be silence on my end.

HMPH

First of all...

Don't pin this all on me... I'm not the only donkey with the missing tail. Look behind you and see if yours is missing too.

Secondly...

Do not... and I mean do not... speak on everyone's behalf just so you can feel a little more empowered to talk to me. That's just weak.

Third...

Who the hell are you to tell me to widen my worldview? Some weeks back, I can recall you sharing the same opinions I did. I still have the conversation, wanna see it?

Fourth...

Friends or not, do not even try to push me to be into whatever the things you may be into. Peer pressure is so high school and we're not in it anymore.

Fifth...

Just because you, well apparently, all of you... feel guilty when I try to voice my non-agreeable opinions on the whatever things you're into, doesn't give you the right to breath down my neck, or careen me into changing what's on my mind. That's unfair.

Sixth...

Don't ever, ever insinuate me to be a diva. Communication is a two-way street and it's one not many of you have crossed lately. I have all my messages intact, and none of which exactly contains words pertaining to open-handed invitations from you or the people you are speaking in behalf of. So if you wanna go down that lane, let's talk with tangible facts.

Seventh...

You, of all people, should know what it's like to not want to be in the presence of those you cannot stand. Don't judge me for not wanting to stay in the company of beings whose faces I can't bear to see. That makes you a hypocrite.

Eighth...

I've admitted and apologized for shortcomings, although I may not know exactly what they are. And you might not believe this but for whatever those faults may be I truly am sorry. But let me ask you this... am I the only one at fault here? Out of everyone involved, am I really the only person who bears the worst of things?

What about the one who ducks out because of sheer dislike for taste in events but refuses to say why and instead just pins it on lack of time due to newfound responsibilities?

Or the one who keeps repeating the same issues over and over again?

What about that one who constantly picks at anything and everything and makes the littlest of whatever things into big, voracious disagreements oftentimes resulting into public scenes you and I are guilty of being ashamed about?

Or the one who said that this is all so pointless now?

What about the one who invited me out, but said to keep it under wraps because she didn't want to be part of the hassle?

Or the one that keeps bitching about all of you... or more accurately, us... when we're not there but does a 180 and gushes on about how much we are missed and how we've been absent for such a while when we stand face to face?

What about them?

Are my faults more than theirs?

No, I'm not pointing fingers. Just like you, I'm only stressing a point.

So don't tell me that this is all my fault.

Because it really isn't.