Silence is My Friend
Didn't you ever need a quiet moment?
Like in the morning, when you first open your eyes and take in everything you see, hear, and feel after waking up - the steady buzz of the fan, the soft rays of light peeking through the blinds, and the softness of the sheets underneath you. Did those moments just prompt you to get up in a snap, or did they make you linger in your spot, all the while reveling in the silence of your thoughts?
I take the latter. But apparently, the parents think that's not how it's supposed to be. Sigh.
This morning, the father came into the room pretending to look for something. But really, all he was there for was to ask me questions... Nothing serious, just casual questions - how was work? what did you do? was it alright? not too stressful? On any other time, I would've given him more than a penny for my thoughts. But, he caught me in a bad time... bad time for him, anyway. I was having my quiet moment... needless to say, hearing something else than the churning of my thoughts wasn't something I wanted so early in the morning.
So I tell him, "Nothing's wrong, dad. I'm just having a quiet moment." He mistakes this as me closing myself off and quickly takes offense. He rebuts by saying how in his days he could never do that to his parents, how now when he shows concern for his kid and so on... and this is when I cut him off with my question.
"Dad, when you wake up in the moring what's the first thing you do?"
"I do my prayer time."
"Right. So when you're in your prayer time, do you like it when people talk to you? Even if it's just to start a casual conversation?"
He doesn't answer. I knew my question hit a mark.
"It's the same thing with me. The moment I wake up, I let my eyes wake up and my mind space out. It's the only time during the day when I feel like everything inside of me is at peace - it's the only time when the silence I have isn't deafening at all because when I get off of the bed, every part of me becomes active - leaving no space for silent moments anytime during the day."
He doesn't have an answer to this. For a while, I thought I got it through to him. I got my ass off the bed, and started my way towards the bathroom.
"But you don't pray during that time."
I just can't win with them.
Like in the morning, when you first open your eyes and take in everything you see, hear, and feel after waking up - the steady buzz of the fan, the soft rays of light peeking through the blinds, and the softness of the sheets underneath you. Did those moments just prompt you to get up in a snap, or did they make you linger in your spot, all the while reveling in the silence of your thoughts?
I take the latter. But apparently, the parents think that's not how it's supposed to be. Sigh.
This morning, the father came into the room pretending to look for something. But really, all he was there for was to ask me questions... Nothing serious, just casual questions - how was work? what did you do? was it alright? not too stressful? On any other time, I would've given him more than a penny for my thoughts. But, he caught me in a bad time... bad time for him, anyway. I was having my quiet moment... needless to say, hearing something else than the churning of my thoughts wasn't something I wanted so early in the morning.
So I tell him, "Nothing's wrong, dad. I'm just having a quiet moment." He mistakes this as me closing myself off and quickly takes offense. He rebuts by saying how in his days he could never do that to his parents, how now when he shows concern for his kid and so on... and this is when I cut him off with my question.
"Dad, when you wake up in the moring what's the first thing you do?"
"I do my prayer time."
"Right. So when you're in your prayer time, do you like it when people talk to you? Even if it's just to start a casual conversation?"
He doesn't answer. I knew my question hit a mark.
"It's the same thing with me. The moment I wake up, I let my eyes wake up and my mind space out. It's the only time during the day when I feel like everything inside of me is at peace - it's the only time when the silence I have isn't deafening at all because when I get off of the bed, every part of me becomes active - leaving no space for silent moments anytime during the day."
He doesn't have an answer to this. For a while, I thought I got it through to him. I got my ass off the bed, and started my way towards the bathroom.
"But you don't pray during that time."
I just can't win with them.
posted by k59i84m at
4:13 PM
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