The Brooding Part

It's in my nature to brood. I can't help it.

Sometimes I just do.

Seems like the new year isn't really starting right for me. My plans are set, but it seems that my hesitations are getting the best of me. I fear for the future... and mostly I just fear for me.

I found comfort in 2006. Somehow I found myself and I was able to keep sane for the most part. However, I'd be lying if I told myself and everyone else that life is just peachy from here. The truth is... everything is far from Pleasantville.

I keep looking forward to that flight that'll take me to the place I've always wanted to be in, but far be it from me to expect that the journey to the airport will be as smooth as a baby's ass. Heck, I might not even make it there. But here's to hoping.

Some days I still wish I wouldn't open my eyes to wake for the next one. Most days, I feel as though I'm just going through the motions. Depressing, I know. Like i said, I'm a brooder. It's in my nature to be a pessimist. Seriously though, I've had fewer "alive" moments this year. Then again, I was concentrating on surviving against the tide that was my bad self.

Maybe this year, I can manage the "living" part.