The Return Flight

On some days, i would wish a trip back to my innocence... Back where there was only 2 houses down my block and there were only the neighbors' kids to play with... Back when the only things I got to worry about were, food, tv, and toys... Back to the uncomplicated simplicity of it all... Back to my purity.

Don't get me wrong, life is great for my adult self. I've lived to party, gotten drunk on occassion, and have been known to stone myself wasted at a time or two... Believe, those things are great. It's what happens during regular days when we're not all boozed up and shot over that drive me to this point of helpless nostalgia. All that drama about the complications of life, love, and friendship... All of that... they're... too heavy to carry on sane, sober shoulders.

All that jazz about this friend's problems and this person's issues... It's just too taxing now. Don't get me wrong, i love life and i live to love friendship and the strings that it brings... But sometimes, you can only take so much of "Why is she like that?" or "Can you tell him to quit being an ass?" or "She's got a problem, we should try to fix it." For the love of God, we all have our lives to live...

Fine, call me escapist. But doesn't anyone ever get tired of it... of living in an age where every kind of stress of any kind of source is possible? Doesn't anyone ever just want to hang the baggage, even for a little bit?

Some days I wonder what it would be like to be me now and live the way I did when I was six. Happless thought, i know... but what if that were at all possible? Can you imagine anyone in their 20s living through the eyes of an innocent child who is without the taint and tarnish of adulthood? Would there be less drama and more comedy? Would we have been happier? Or would a 22-year lifetime of knowledge on angst and melancholic fervor still seep through the skin? What ifs and would haves, all of it.

But it helps to get away... even for a little while.